28. The Need for Trauma-Informed Birth Care: How to Advocate for Yourself During Labor
What if I told you that “standard care” during labor isn’t always care at all?
What if I told you that birthing people walk away from their experience feeling more violated than victorious—and it’s not because their birth plan changed?
If you’ve ever felt uneasy hearing someone describe their birth like a battlefield, you’re not alone. There’s a reason those stories stick. And no, it’s not because birth has to be traumatic—it’s because too often, trauma-informed care is missing from the room.
Let’s fix that.
In this post, we’re diving into what trauma-informed birth care actually means, why it matters, and how to advocate for yourself during labor—even if you’re not the “speak up in the moment” type. This isn’t about demanding a birth that goes according to plan. It’s about creating a birth space where you are safe, heard, and respected—no matter what unfolds.
You deserve that kind of birth. Let’s talk about how to get it.
What Is Trauma-Informed Birth Care?
Let’s start with a little myth-busting. Trauma-informed care isn’t some niche practice for “people with issues.” It’s the gold standard. Or at least, it should be.
Trauma-informed birth care means your provider:
Recognizes that birth can be deeply vulnerable—especially for people with a history of trauma (which, spoiler: is a lot of us).
Prioritizes consent and collaboration over control and coercion.
Adjusts language, touch, and tone to make the space feel safe, not clinical or cold.
Understands that emotional and psychological safety is just as real as physical safety.
It’s not about coddling. It’s about respecting the fact that birth isn’t just a medical event—it’s a full-body, full-soul transformation. And pretending otherwise? That’s where the damage happens.
Why Trauma-Informed Birth Care Matters More Than You Think
You could have a “textbook” healthy birth and still walk away feeling violated. That’s not a failure of your body—it’s a failure of the system. And unfortunately, that failure is... pretty common.
Here’s what happens when care isn’t trauma-informed:
You might be touched without warning or consent.
Decisions are made about your body without your full understanding or input.
Your gut says “something’s not right,” but the room says “you’re fine.”
Sound familiar? It’s not okay—and it’s not your fault.
Trauma-informed care helps prevent unnecessary harm, builds trust between you and your birth team, and creates space for you to feel in control—even when birth gets unpredictable. It’s not just “nice to have.” It’s essential.
How to Advocate for Yourself During Labor (Even If You Hate Confrontation)
Labor is not exactly the ideal time to start debating hospital policy. That’s why advocacy starts way before contractions do.
Here’s how to prep yourself:
1. Build a Team That Gets It
If your provider rolls their eyes when you mention trauma-informed care... that’s your cue to exit stage left.
You want a team that:
Explains things clearly and listens to your questions without defensiveness.
Encourages shared decision-making.
Supports your emotional safety, not just the physical outcome.
You’re hiring them—not the other way around.
2. Write a Birth Plan That Advocates for You
Your birth plan isn’t about controlling every detail. It’s about setting expectations for how you want to be treated.
Include things like:
“Please explain any procedures before performing them.”
“I prefer to be asked before being touched.”
“Use encouraging, non-directive language.”
Think of it as your advocacy blueprint. Not a script, but a guide to help your team show up for you the way you need.
3. Use the BRAIN Framework
When decisions pop up (and they will), use this:
Benefits – What are the benefits?
Risks – What are the risks?
Alternatives – Are there other options?
Intuition – What does your gut say?
Nothing – What happens if we wait or do nothing?
Even just pausing to ask can shift the power back into your hands.
4. Bring an Advocate (Hi, I’m Faye 👋)
You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s a doula, a partner, or a friend with a strong voice, having someone in your corner who can speak up when you’re in labor-land is a game-changer.
Especially someone who knows the system and isn’t afraid to challenge it—with love, of course.
What Trauma-Informed Birth Care Looks Like in Real Life
Let me paint you two scenes:
Scene A:
You’re on the hospital bed. A nurse comes in, flips on the lights, and starts checking your cervix—without a word or a quick "I need to check you."
Scene B:
Your provider enters calmly. “Hey, would you like a cervical check now, or would you prefer we wait a bit? I’ll explain everything before I begin, and you can tell me to stop at any point.”
Both are “standard care.”
Only one is trauma-informed.
See the difference?
When you know what respectful, collaborative care looks like, it becomes a lot easier to spot (and challenge) what isn’t.
You Deserve Care That Respects Every Part of You
You are not “too sensitive.”
You are not “too controlling.”
You are not “too informed.”
You’re a human preparing for one of the most life-altering experiences there is. Wanting to feel safe, heard, and respected during birth isn’t too much. It’s the bare minimum.
Whether you’re navigating a high-risk pregnancy, carrying past trauma, or just want to make sure your birth isn’t driven by hospital routine—you deserve trauma-informed care. And you can advocate for it.
No shame. No guilt. No apologizing for asking questions or taking up space.
Ready to Advocate Like a Pro?
I created a Research Cheat Sheet for Expecting Parents to help you confidently ask the right questions, challenge assumptions, and stay centered in your values—even under pressure.
✨ [Download your free copy here] and start building the kind of birth experience that feels safe, supported, and fully yours.
Have you experienced trauma-informed care—or the opposite—during labor?
What helped you feel empowered (or powerless) in that moment?
Drop a comment below. Your story matters, and it just might help someone else advocate for themselves too.
Because birth shouldn’t feel like something that happens to you.
It should feel like something you’re fully a part of.
