30. 5 Tips for Surviving the NICU and Staying Strong as a Parent
No one plans to have a baby in the NICU. It’s not exactly on the birth vision board next to the fairy lights and essential oils. And yet, here you are—thrown into a world of beeping monitors, medical jargon that sounds like a foreign language, and the overwhelming reality of watching your baby fight battles you never saw coming.
The NICU is a marathon, not a sprint. And while you can’t control every twist and turn, you can arm yourself with strategies to survive it—mentally, emotionally, and physically. So, take a deep breath (or five), because these five tips will help you hold it together while navigating the toughest, most heart-wrenching crash course in parenthood.
1. Advocate Like You Mean It
If you’ve never had to channel your inner lawyer before, now’s the time. The NICU can feel like an exclusive club where everyone speaks fluent medicalese except you. But here’s the truth: You are the expert on your baby.
Ask questions—even if you have to ask the same one five times.
Request explanations in plain English (or whatever language you actually speak).
If something feels off, say something. Even the most brilliant medical teams are still human, and second opinions exist for a reason.
Remember, advocating doesn’t mean being aggressive—it means making sure your baby’s care aligns with what’s best for them and for you. If you don’t understand something, it’s not because you’re clueless; it’s because medical information is dense, and it’s their job to make it clear.
2. Take Breaks Without the Guilt Trip
NICU parents have this super fun tendency to forget that they’re human. You’re running on adrenaline, stress, and vending machine snacks, convinced that stepping away for even five minutes makes you a terrible parent. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.
You need to eat.
You need to sleep.
You need fresh air that doesn’t smell like hospital-grade sanitizer.
Stepping away doesn’t mean you care any less—it means you’re trying to function well enough to keep caring. A burnt-out, sleep-deprived version of you isn’t helpful to anyone, least of all your baby.
3. Ditch the NICU Time Warp
If time feels like a black hole in the NICU, that’s because it is. Days blur together, the outside world feels unreal, and somehow, you have no clue if it’s Monday or three weeks from now.
Bring a journal or use your phone to track milestones, medical updates, and questions you want to ask.
Create a daily “normal” (as much as possible) by stepping outside, listening to music, or watching a short show.
If people ask how they can help, let them handle the real-world stuff—laundry, meal drop-offs, feeding the cat (assuming you have one).
Time doesn’t stop just because you’re in the NICU, and maintaining some connection to life outside those walls helps keep you grounded.
4. Find Your People
Not everyone gets the NICU experience, and explaining it over and over can feel exhausting. Some people will say all the wrong things (“At least you get a break from the baby!” Cue rage.), while others just won’t understand why you’re still struggling weeks, months, or even years later.
Find the people who do get it.
Other NICU parents (in-person or online support groups).
A therapist who specializes in birth trauma.
Friends or family who don’t try to slap a “silver lining” on everything.
You don’t have to do this alone. And honestly? You shouldn’t.
5. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Everything
The NICU is an emotional rollercoaster with zero warning signs and no seatbelts. One minute, you’re celebrating a weight gain of half an ounce; the next, you’re drowning in fear because the monitor alarms won’t stop going off. It’s okay to feel all of it.
You can be grateful and still be angry that this is happening.
You can be hopeful and still be scared out of your mind.
You can be proud of how strong your baby is and still hate every second of this journey.
There’s no “right” way to survive the NICU. There’s just your way. However messy, however emotional, however imperfect—it’s valid.
You’ve Got This (Even If It Feels Like You Don’t)
The NICU isn’t just about tiny babies—it’s about the parents who become warriors overnight, fighting battles they never expected. You’re stronger than you think, even on the days you feel like you’re barely hanging on.
And while no one chooses the NICU, you do get to choose how you navigate it. One breath, one step, one day at a time.
If you’re looking for more ways to advocate for your baby (without feeling totally lost in the medical madness), download my free “7 Tips for NICU Advocacy” guide. It’s packed with practical, easy-to-use strategies to help you navigate this journey with confidence.
Now, tell me—what’s been the hardest part of the NICU for you? Drop a comment below. Let’s support each other in this wild, wonderful, exhausting journey. 💛