40. 3 Simple Steps to Address Birth Trauma and Embrace a Healing Birth Journey
Birth is supposed to be magical, but for many, it feels more like surviving a plot twist they never saw coming. Maybe you were brushed off, pressured into choices you didn’t fully understand, or left feeling like your body and voice didn’t matter. If your birth experience felt anything but empowering, you’re not alone.
Birth trauma is real, and it doesn’t just vanish because you have a cute baby in your arms (shocking, right?). The good news? Healing is possible, and reclaiming your birth journey doesn’t require a time machine—just some intentional steps forward.
So, if your birth story still stings, and you want to step into the next chapter feeling strong, informed, and in control, stick with me. We’re about to dive into three simple but powerful steps to help you process your experience and move toward a birth that feels right for you.
Step 1: Name It—Because Your Feelings Are Valid (No Gaslighting Allowed)
First things first: your birth experience matters. If something felt wrong, overwhelming, or downright traumatic—it was. Trauma isn’t about whether someone else thinks your experience was "bad enough." If it left a mark on your heart and mind, it counts. Period.
Here’s what you can do:
Write it down. Get it all out—messy, unfiltered, just as it happened. You might be surprised what surfaces when you give yourself permission to be honest.
Say it out loud. To a partner, a friend, a therapist, or even your reflection in the mirror. Hearing your own voice validate your experience is powerful.
Find words for it. Was it feeling unheard? Losing control? Being dismissed? Naming the root of your trauma helps you untangle it and start healing.
✨ Takeaway: Your experience is real, and you don’t need permission to feel the way you do.
Step 2: Unpack the Baggage—Without Letting It Unpack You
Trauma has a way of sneaking into the future like an uninvited guest. If you’re planning another birth (or even just thinking about it), you might already feel the anxiety creeping in. That’s normal. But here’s the deal: your last birth doesn’t have to dictate your next one.
How to start unpacking:
Identify your triggers. What moments or phrases bring up those raw feelings? Knowing what sets off your alarm bells helps you prepare.
Reframe the narrative. Instead of “I failed,” try, “I wasn’t supported the way I deserved.” The way we tell our stories shapes how we move forward.
Seek support from people who get it. Trauma-informed doulas (hi, it’s me! 🙋♀️), therapists, or birth communities can help you process and reframe your experience.
✨ Takeaway: You can hold space for what happened without letting it define your future birth.
Step 3: Build a Birth Plan That Honors You
This time, things are different—because now, you know better. You’re not just preparing for birth; you’re taking back control. Whether you’re planning a hospital birth, home birth, or something in between, your plan should reflect your values, priorities, and boundaries.
Key strategies for a birth experience that feels good:
Know your birth rights. You get to say yes, no, and hold up, I need more information. Your body, your birth, your call.
Choose a provider who listens. If they roll their eyes at your questions, they don’t deserve a front-row seat to your birth.
Stack your support system. Birth partners, doulas (again, hi!), and trusted allies who will advocate for you when things get intense.
Make a plan—and a backup. Birth is unpredictable, but having a solid plan (with room for flexibility) helps you feel prepared instead of powerless.
✨ Takeaway: You deserve a birth experience where you feel heard, respected, and in control—and the right preparation makes all the difference.
Your Next Step: Let’s Keep This Healing Journey Going
Healing from birth trauma doesn’t happen overnight, but every step forward counts. You’re not broken, and your future birth story is still yours to write.
If you’re ready to take back your power, get clear on your birth rights, and build a plan that actually supports you, join my email list for real, no-BS insights on birth, advocacy, and making informed choices. I promise, it’s the kind of inbox gold you won’t want to ignore.
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And tell me—what’s one thing you wish you had known before your birth? Drop a comment below. Let’s start the conversation. 💛
