46. My Best Tips for a Positive and Empowered Postpartum Intimacy Experience
You just pushed a human out (or had one removed via skilled abdominal extraction), your hormones are throwing house parties at 3 a.m., and somehow, you’re supposed to be “ready” for sex again in less than 2 months?
Yeah, no. It’s not that simple—and honestly, it shouldn’t be.
And if you’re also juggling a NICU stay or still processing one? That adds layers most people don’t talk about. You’ve been in survival mode, maybe still are, and intimacy might feel like the last thing on your list—or like something you want but can’t quite reach. Both are valid.
This post isn’t about bouncing back, grinning through it, or pretending you’re not wildly different than you were a few weeks ago. It’s about getting real with what postpartum intimacy looks like, how to make it feel good for you, and reclaiming your body and connection in a way that’s actually empowering—not performative.
Stick around, because I’m sharing my most honest, practical, and body-respecting tips for feeling good in your skin, communicating clearly with your partner, and navigating postpartum intimacy like the strong, clever woman you are.
Understanding Your Postpartum Body is the First Empowered Step
Here’s the truth: your postpartum body isn’t broken. It’s just changed. And understanding what’s going on down there (and everywhere else) is a game changer.
Your body might feel:
Dry (thanks, hormones)
Sore or sensitive (even months later)
Disconnected (hello, body that doesn’t feel like mine)
Tired AF (because sleep is a myth now)
This isn’t about “fixing” anything. It’s about giving yourself grace and informed care. If sex doesn’t feel good—or safe or wanted—that’s not a personal failure. That’s data. Use it. Get curious. Ask questions. And yes, pelvic floor physical therapists are worth their weight in gold.
💡 Insight bomb: If a doctor gave you the green light at six weeks but your brain and body are screaming red, trust you.
Positive Postpartum Intimacy Starts with Real Conversations
Before anything physical, the most underrated form of foreplay is communication. Wild, I know.
Ask yourself:
Do I actually want this—or do I feel like I “should”?
Am I emotionally supported right now?
What would make me feel safe, sexy, or seen?
Now ask your partner to sit down and talk. Not during diaper changes. Not while falling asleep. A real conversation. Be awkward. Be honest. Be raw.
Start with:
“I’m figuring out what feels good for me again.”
“I miss feeling close to you, but I don’t know what that looks like yet.”
“Can we go slow and figure it out together?”
You don’t need perfect words—you just need truth.
Building Intimacy Without Jumping Into Sex (Yet)
Spoiler alert: intimacy isn’t just penetration. And thank God for that.
Here’s what counts as postpartum intimacy (and sometimes feels even better than sex):
A long hug without interruption
Laying skin-to-skin with zero agenda
Massage, cuddling, or a shower together
Eye contact that says “I still see you”
A handwritten note tucked under your coffee mug
These things matter. These things build the bridge. And sometimes, that bridge leads to sex. Sometimes it doesn’t. Either way—you’re doing it right.
The Empowered Sex You Deserve Starts with These Practical Tips
When you are ready to explore sex again, here’s how to stack the deck in your favor:
Lube. Lube. Lube. Dryness is real and not your fault. A good water-based or silicone-based lube changes everything.
Timing matters. Mornings may be better than late nights (when you're touched-out and running on zero REM).
Start slow, and say stop freely. You get to pause. You get to say “this isn’t working.” That’s not rejection—it’s respect.
Try new positions. Some are better for post-birth bodies. Google is your friend. So is a pelvic floor therapist.
Talk afterward. Was it good? Weird? Unexpectedly emotional? Talk about it. Debrief like it’s a mission—because it kinda is.
You’re Allowed to Grieve Your Old Sex Life
Sometimes postpartum intimacy brings up grief—not because your current life is bad, but because your old self felt freer, lighter, maybe even more you.
You’re not broken for missing that version of yourself.
You’re evolving.
You can honor both the past and the person you’re becoming now. It doesn’t have to be either/or.
This is integration. This is power. This is growth.
Ready to Feel More Informed and Empowered in Every Part of Your Motherhood Journey?
Sex is just one part of this wild, messy, sacred transformation—and you don’t have to figure it out alone.
👉 Follow me on Instagram for more tips, empowerment, and “did she really just say that?” moments.
Because birth is just the beginning—and you deserve to feel confident, connected, and totally in your power every step of the way.
