58. How to Release Guilt and Own Your Birth Choices with Confidence
Guilt during pregnancy and childbirth? Yeah, it’s a thing. Whether it’s from societal pressure, family expectations, or the barrage of birth stories you see online, it can sometimes feel like you’re constantly questioning your choices. Are you making the “right” decisions? Should you be doing things differently? Does your plan align with what’s “normal”? It can be overwhelming, right?
But here’s the thing: you are the expert on your own body, and your choices deserve respect. In this blog, I’m going to help you let go of that guilt, step into your power, and confidently own your birth experience. No more second-guessing. Ready to dive in?
Why Guilt Creeps In (And How to Deal with It)
Before we jump into how to release that guilt, let's talk about where it comes from. This isn’t some mystical force, but rather the result of a few very real factors:
External Pressure: Everyone seems to have an opinion on how you should give birth. Your mom, your best friend, your cousin—heck, even strangers on the internet are quick to chime in with advice (or unsolicited commentary). It can leave you feeling like your choices aren’t “good enough” or “worthy.”
The Perfection Myth: Oh yes, we’ve all been sold this perfect image of what birth “should” look like. Social media, movies, and even some birth stories can make you feel like if it’s not a calm, serene water birth, then you’re somehow “doing it wrong.” Spoiler alert: There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to birth.
Fear of Judgment: Whether it's from family or strangers, you may feel like you’re being watched. And that adds pressure. Is it safe? Is it acceptable? It’s hard to shake that feeling of being judged.
But here’s the best part: You deserve to make the decisions that feel right for you. Period. Once you release the guilt of needing everyone’s approval, you’ll be able to focus on what truly matters: your own birth experience.
Own Your Birth Choices (and Stop Apologizing)
Now that we’ve identified where guilt tends to creep in, let’s talk about how to kick it to the curb and own your choices like the badass birthing person you are. Ready? Here are a few actionable steps:
1. Trust Your Body’s Wisdom
You know yourself better than anyone. Yes, I said it: YOU. Your body has been with you through thick and thin, and it knows exactly what it’s doing. Trusting your body is one of the most powerful ways to regain control over your choices. So, when it tells you to rest, move, or even try a different approach to birth, listen up. Your body’s wisdom is invaluable—use it to your advantage.
But let’s be clear: trusting your body doesn’t mean ignoring medical symptoms or brushing off real concerns because you “feel fine.” Sometimes your intuition shows up in ways that go beyond physical sensations. You might feel great and still need more medical support than you think. Labs, monitoring, and medical feedback aren’t the enemy—they’re tools that help you understand what your body might be saying quietly, not loudly.
Trust your body and trust the data about your body. Both matter. Both are valid. And both can work together to guide you toward informed, grounded decisions that support the healthiest and safest birth experience possible.
2. Stop Playing the Comparison Game
Here’s the thing: no one’s birth story is the same. And no, you’re not supposed to follow the same path as someone else. Not everything has to go according to plan, and that’s okay. In fact, embracing flexibility and rolling with the unexpected is where the true power lies. Trust me, no one else has a crystal ball to predict exactly how your birth will go, so why let someone else’s experience dictate your own?
3. Set Boundaries and Hold Firm
If someone’s making you feel guilty about your choices—whether it’s the way you plan to birth, the birth plan itself, or your preferences—it’s okay to set boundaries. You can do this with love, but don’t be afraid to assert yourself. Just like in life, if it doesn’t serve you, don’t keep it in your space. Your choices, your body, your birth.
4. Educate Yourself (Knowledge is Power)
The more informed you are about your choices, the more confident you’ll feel in making them. When you understand your options—whether it’s pain management, the role of a doula, or understanding the benefits and risks of different birth scenarios—you’re in a much stronger position to make decisions that are right for you. It’s not about blindly following advice; it’s about gathering information, weighing options, and making decisions from a place of power, not fear.
Let’s Address the Real Elephant in the Room
I’m going to get real with you for a sec: guilt is a sneaky little beast. It’ll creep up when you least expect it, making you question your choices. But guess what? Guilt doesn’t have to control you. In fact, it’s the opposite of confidence—and it’s time to kick it to the curb.
Here’s what I want you to remember: Your birth experience is yours. It’s your choices, your voice, and your body. The only person who gets to dictate how that unfolds is you. So, give yourself permission to own it. Walk into your birth with the confidence that you’ve made informed decisions that feel right for you, your baby, and your journey.
So, What’s Next?
It’s time to take action. Here’s the deal: Your confidence is going to come from within, but I’m here to help you nurture that confidence every step of the way. If you’re ready to dive deeper into empowering your birth experience, sign up for my newsletter. Inside, you’ll get research-backed tips, empowering insights, and a whole lot of encouragement to help you navigate this journey with a clear mind and full heart.
You’ve got this. And I’m here to help you every step of the way.
You deserve to feel confident and empowered in your birth choices. The guilt? That’s old news. Let it go, and step into your own power. You’re the expert on your body, and your birth journey belongs to YOU. Ready to take the next step? Let’s do it—together. Join my email list and join the conversation.
Before You Go…
What’s one birth choice you’re learning to feel more confident about?
Tell me over on Instagram — comment on my most recent post @doulafaye so we can talk about it together.
